REAL SOLUTIONS
Teaching you the solutions to be your own self-help counselor for life.
Relationship Counseling
It's not uncommon for two people in a relationship to experience bumps in the road. But when they get too bumpy, counseling is the answer.
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A relationship does not have to feel like a roller coaster ride. There will always be times when two people don't see eye-to-eye. In fact, if both of you always had the same opinion and feelings about everything, your marriage would get quite boring. A little bit of rational discussion and debate is quite healthy.
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But when disagreements become shouting matches, or when one or both of you perceive that you have nothing in common, or worse yet when an affair happens, there becomes a need to have a skilled third party to not only arbitrate, but also show you ways to patch things up and move forward.
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My marriage and relationship counseling program is unique in that I don't just simply mediate arguments. I work in tandem with the two of you to develop a plan that becomes yours together. I teach you ways of enjoying your marriage, that, quite honestly you've never even thought of before.
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I offer a free first appointment so that you can see what it's all about before making any commitment. Best of all, my program shows you how to become your own self-help marital counsellors, able to smooth things out before they become bumpy.
Relationship Counseling FAQ's
How do we know if marriage counseling will work for us?
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You won’t, but you’ll know within the first session whether you’re confident and comfortable with me, and whether you feel I can help you to achieve your marital goals. The vast majority see a value in our techniques and continue to come. There are a few who decide to take a different route--such as pastoral counselling or community counselling and I fully respect that.
My spouse and I don't see eye to eye on anything. Are we beyond help?
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Why are you together? Let’s assume that there are some areas where you’re compatible. There must've been an attraction at some time, a 'spark' that was felt between both parties. That’s the best place to start, I will look at those issues first and build from there. It won't take long to determine whether or not your compatability issues can be mended, and if the spark can be re-lit. If they can't, then I can help you plan for a divorce devoid of angst, anger, selfishness and guilt.
How long do we have to go to marriage counseling before it works?
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Insight into your marital concerns can happen almost immediately, but long term marital satisfaction will take more time. There is no magical quick fix for a marriage in need of help and change. It takes effort from both parties to learn and practice what I teach you in counseling. While some people start to see solid results in as few as 8 sessions, you can usually see significant results in 12 sessions; it may take up to up to twice that many for marriage problems that are more intensive.
What if my spouse doesn't want to come? Will it help if I do?
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Yes, and often I can get your spouse to come a session to talk about you. Often, that feels less threatening.
What type of therapy do you practice for marriage and relationship counseling?
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Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is a very effective form of counseling for couples. Most marital issues are either practical or emotional. Most couples can handle the practical issues, but the emotional response to the practical problems becomes more difficult. I focus on helping couples to become less emotionally wrought about their practical problems so they can become much more creative and problem solving in tackling the often tough task of maintaining a healthy and satisfying relationship.
Do you also counsel un-married couples?
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Yes I do. The challenges of an un-married couple are very similar to those who are married. But the extra challenges of not being married sometimes present themselves. My counselling, in this regard, would be better named 'Couples counseling.'
Do you have experience counseling gay couples?
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Yes, gay couples are not uniquely different than heterosexual couples, other than some of their practical issues which are unique to their lifestyle.
Will I have to keep coming back for months or even years?
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Not likely. While there are some people who may need to continue counseling for a few months, many others find the relief they need in as little as 4 weeks. It depends, somewhat, on what you are seeking counseling for, how good of a job I do, and how receptive you are, as well as willing to put the needed extra time into what I teach you.